This is the first of a 3 part series on dating. I will start by giving a Biblical perspective on dating for Christians. In 1 Corinthians 7:17, Paul urges believers to “lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” This verse sets the stage for a critical question: How should Christians view dating in a world where cultural norms often overshadow biblical principles?
Modern dating, as we know it, is a relatively recent societal construct, emerging about 120 years ago. Unlike the relationships described in Scripture—family, neighbors, and marriage—dating is not a biblical category. The Bible outlines three types of male-female relationships: family, where sexual relations are prohibited, neighbors, where sexual relations are prohibited, and marriage, where sexual relations are commanded within a covenant. Dating, as practiced today, often blurs these lines, leading to confusion, heartbreak, and behavior that doesn’t align with God’s design.
The world’s approach to dating encourages giving oneself away emotionally and physically without true commitment, often resulting in prolonged relationships with no marital intent. A 2019 Pew Research study revealed that 57% of professing Christians find sex between unmarried individuals in a committed relationship acceptable, and 50% approve of casual sex outside commitment. These statistics reflect a troubling trend: many Christians have adopted the world’s view of relationships, sidelining biblical standards. With the rise of progressive Christianity, these numbers are likely even higher today.
As believers, we are called to be set apart, not conforming to the world’s patterns (Romans 12:2). Dating, for Christians, should be defined simply: a period of evaluation with the goal of marriage in mind. This definition shifts the focus from fleeting romance to intentional pursuit of a lifelong covenant. The world’s dating model often leads to unnecessary pain—think of a five-year relationship with no true commitment, ending abruptly, leaving emotional and spiritual scars. God’s design for relationships, rooted in commitment and purity, protects us from such harm.
Here’s what I want you to know: the purpose of dating is to prepare for marriage, which is a picture of Christ’s love for His Church. However, our ultimate satisfaction lies not in a spouse but in Christ alone. As 1 Corinthians 7:17 suggests, God calls us to live faithfully in our current season, whether single, married, or seeking a spouse. Our identity and purpose are found in Him, not in romantic relationships. Jesus declares in Matthew 5:6, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” Psalm 16:11 adds, “In your presence there is fullness of joy.” The Westminster Confession reinforces this, stating that our chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Singleness, often undervalued, is a gift. In 1 Corinthians 7:35, Paul describes celibacy as a calling that allows undivided devotion to the Lord. Figures like Paul and Jesus Himself lived single, impactful lives. I have a friend in his 40s, single and devoted to ministry, and he is a perfect example of how God uses singleness powerfully. Even for those who desire marriage, singleness is a season to serve God uniquely. After coming to faith in 2015, I used my single years to start a Bible study, go on international mission trips, and disciple others—opportunities less available after marriage and having children.
This season of availability is a chance to pour into ministry, serve in church, disciple others, or even plant churches. Rather than waiting for marriage to get serious about our faith, Christians should seize the moment to build God’s Kingdom. By focusing on Christ, we prepare ourselves to be the kind of person a godly spouse would seek. The world may push us to prioritize romance, but Scripture calls us to prioritize Christ, trusting Him to guide our relationships.
For those with past mistakes, there is hope. Sexual sin or broken relationships do not define you. Christ offers forgiveness and freedom, urging us to pursue holiness now to honor God and a future spouse. Whether single or married, our call is to live set apart, reflecting Christ’s love and purpose in all we do. Dating, when approached biblically, becomes a tool to glorify God, not a trap of cultural conformity.
Over the next two weeks I’m going to get into the WHO to consider dating and the HOW to go about dating as Christians.
Tethered to Truth 